I'm only saying out loud what everyone says in private.
That's my real fault, I guess.”

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That’s what was written on the poetry (!) thread yesterday here:

http://www.ttapress.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=89&start=0

Said by Rhys Hughes to me.

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I have known Rhys for many years but I haven’t seen him face to face since 1998.

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The above was said after what I thought was a typical internet altercation but then inflamed into such statements concerning ‘ego massage’.

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But it leads me to ask various *rhetorical* questions:

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Now, it’s probably ego massage for me to respond at all. How can I escape that?

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How much was it my fault that the exchange arrived at this sorry pass?

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If Rhys and I had this discussion in a pub, would we have come to such ‘blows’? How many friendships has the Internet destroyed? How many careers?

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Regarding the main accusation, I think to myself: I have spent about 8 years in proffering sensible and crazy literary theories and other opinions in wildly different electronic venues. This has been because of my love of brainstorming, I claim. This has also been part of my patchwork ‘career’ as a writer and publisher. If I were truly ambitious, all this could have been accomplished far more coherently since 1986 when I embarked upon it. If I treasured my ego, why would I not at least have massaged it properly?

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Where does acceptable promotion end and ego massage begin?

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And do people talk about me behind my back, as claimed? I suspect not.

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How can I instil humour into this blog-post, as Rhys surely would if he’s in a good mood?

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I have not submitted to a publisher since 2000. I have put all my previous published material freely available on the Internet. I don’t think I massage my ego, at all, but my nemo.

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